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| Funny Status |
Funny Status
"I came here in peace, seeking gold and slaves." – Jack Handey"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." – Sam Kinison
"I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood." – Larry David
"I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort." – Zach Galifianakis
"I'm on a whiskey diet.. I've lost three days already." – Tommy Cooper
"Onions make me sad. A lot of people don't realize that." – Mitch Hedberg
"There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life." – Doug Stanhope
A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?" Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"
After getting drunk, Bachelor of Technology turns into Master of Philosophy.
Be careful of following the masses - remove the "m" and who exactly are you following?
Behind every successful man... There is a confused woman.
Bitch is just a term used for girl who refuses dog's proposal. :P
Boys think of girls like books, if the cover doesn't catch their eyes, they won't even bother to read what's inside.
Dear LOL and Hamm, Thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say. :D
Dear Sleep! I Know We Had Problems When I Was Younger! But NOW I Lubbb you :-D
Dear mom and dad, when I lie to you, it's for your own good. :P
Every time I drink I get awesome :-)
Excuse me! Ye lijiye aapki soch. Mujhe giri hui mili thi. :P
Girls are like parking spaces, all the good ones are already taken.
God made coke. God made pepsi. God made me. Oh so sexy. God made rivers. God made lakes. God made you. Well... we all make mistakes.
Gravity always gets me down. :)
HEY YOU, yeah I'm talking to you, why the hell are you reading my status?
I am so cool, my selfie is called a kulfi!
I can handle pain until it hurts.
I follow the quote, "Always be true to yourself" because I only lie to others... :P :D
I gotta go to work today because millions of people on welfare depend on me.
I know the door to your heart belongs to another, but I think I can slip in through the window.
I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.
I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos. :D
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out!!!
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
Hello, my name is Jack Sparrow. I'm a 50 year old self-employed Pirate from the Caribbean.